36: God, speak up!

How do you know when God is giving you a sign? I have absolutely no idea. In fact, if I did know, I'd be set. I'd look and listen for signs from Him constantly, which is something I should already be doing now, but I'm scared I might be making something out of nothing. Despite what some may say, I believe that God does not control all. Sometimes things in life happen because they happen. If I drop a pencil, it just happens. God did not drop the pencil. I did. Just because someone dies in a car crash doesn't mean that God did it. Things happen. People die. The end.

My main problem is figuring out if God is giving me the sign or if it's just coincidence. I have already accepted that God will never speak to me through a burning bush, donkey, or dream. He will speak to me in a subtle way that I hope challenges me to truly believe in Him.

Discerning God's signs scares me because I, as a selfish person, can construe anything into anything. For example, if I want to steal something I might ask God, "God, if you don't want to steal this game, please speak up and say no." I even would say please. Of course, God says nothing. I hear no booming voice and so I could, technically, assume that God wants me to steal the game, right? This is where the problem lies. Now apply this to more important issues in life and I hope you can see how problematic this can be. "God, should I stay in my current relationship? I need a sign. If you say no, I'll leave. But if you stay quiet, I will assume that means yes." So instead of talking to the almighty God, we manipulate and tell ourselves what we want to hear. Lame.

I wish God would speak up. It seems like He only speaks to pastors and prominent church leaders. What about the regular people? There are more of us than pastors and holy men. Some might say that the problem isn't God speaking, but our ability to listen. That we just aren't listening to Him. Well, I think that as God, He should be the bigger person and speak up.

GOD, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. SPEAK UP. TALK LOUDER. SHOW ME SOMETHING. ENOUGH OF THE ALLUSIONS TO WHAT YOU WANT. JUST TELL ME.

35: Divorce in the church

One of my favorite topics to discuss is divorce. Not that I have been through this terrible experience, or wish this on anyone, but I do love the irony of it. People get married and declare their love for one another by spending a lot of money on just one day of their lives. Within 5-10 years, the marriage that was once so exciting becomes dull and burdensome, leading to a lot of paperwork, expensive lawyers, and hurt for the children.

I was given an article by a friend and enjoyed reading it. I later checked to see how my fellow Christians are doing in the world of marriage and the numbers surprised me a bit. While Christians aren't up at the 50% number, the number of divorced individuals in the church is around 30%, give or take. I love the fact that the atheists and agnostics have the lowest number in comparison with all Christian religions. This number can be somewhat misleading, but it still makes you wonder and think what we, as believers, are doing wrong, and what they, the 'heathens,' are doing right.

Author Donald Hughes states that 90% of divorces among born-again couples occur after they have been "saved." This proves that just because two Christians get married, it doesn't mean that divorce is out of the question.

I guess these statistics make me feel good, at least for the moment. They show me that I'm not missing out on that much. Once you look beyond the sex, I'm thinking marriage is work, hard work. There are great marriages out there, for sure. I'm always happy when I meet an elderly couple who has made it. But the reminder of divorce slaps me in the back of the head every time I question whether or not I need to get paired off now.

Why rush if it's going to end in 5 years behind a trail of tears, heartache, and lost time? I like taking care of me, myself, and I. If the right girl came, I'd welcome her. I'd think, That's great. But marriage, for me, will be a life time sentence. No take backs or do overs.

34: I give God money and He blesses me, right?

Tithing came up at church this weekend, as most Sundays. It is a subject that I often wonder about. The Bible distinctly says in Malachi that we can challenge God on this. We can't test Him on anything else, but the giving of money is fair game. Wow, I wonder which high church official thought of this one. It seems like a great way to get money from people.

First off, why can't I test God on other things? To me, that's a little picky. I would love to say, "God, I'll stop sinning in this area of my life, if you give me (fill in the blank)." Yet, I can't because that would be testing God and He doesn't like to be tested. This makes me wonder if man created this rule instead of God because it is inconsistent with His character. We either can or can't test God on all things. There are no exceptions. Exceptions and excuses are man-made.

Secondly, the verse says that if you tithe, God will give you more blessings than you know what to do with. "Test me on this and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour our so much blessings that you will not have room enough for it." Malachi 3:10. In other words, if we challenge God and tithe our money away, He will bless us with more stuff than we know what to do with. Is this true? It's starting to sound like we can buy blessings from God if we give Him money. I believe the Catholics tried this once. They called it indulgences.

I've heard people (pastors), earthly people, guarantee that if I give money to God, I will be blessed. The only way to see if this is true, to truly test God, is to count one's blessings when not tithing compared to the blessings one receives when tithing.

Also, no where does it talk about or consider the heart of the giver. I can give a million dollars to the church, but if my heart is bad, my money becomes nothing to God. It will mean a lot to man, but nothing to God. The heart's condition, therefore, is critical in tithing. If I were to give with a hateful heart, surely God would not bless me, right?

Can God bless someone with a hateful heart?

I've personally tried this challenge with tithing and was disappointed that I wasn't blessed after giving. I gave ten percent of my income for a few months, and was promised that after those months, I would be blessed. While I was blessed in life during that time (meaning I didn't die), I never got what I truly wanted. Thus, I concluded that tithing doesn't work. I've heard stories that people give money when they really can't afford to and somehow God blesses them. In my case, I challenged God, called His bluff, and found myself a little poorer.

Maybe you've tried tithing and have been blessed. Good for you. But while God blesses you, He ignores thousands of others who give each week, all expecting their lives to change.

33: Can God Do Bad?

I thought about something during church this weekend. I often do my best thinking during church. It's funny how that always seems to happen. I get my best story ideas from just sitting down and listening to people sing and talk.

Anyway, the question was: Can God really do bad? Does he bring misfortune purposely on people? Obviously, He did that when He sent the plagues to Egypt, but can He, in all His goodness and glory, send bad things to the righteous? He's God. Of course He can, but does that make it right, or consistent, with His character?

To me, it's unfair that God takes all the glory for the good stuff, but none of the credit for the bad. Maybe He does take responsibility for the bad, but I feel that Christianity, today, tends to not want to blame God for anything and attribute bad events and occurrences to "life."

As a true God, He must take all responsibility on the good, bad, luck, change, misfortune, etc. To only take the good is to be selfish. And God can't be selfish, can He? He is a jealous God, something I find amusing from time to time. But I thought jealousy was a bad thing, a sin. I thought that we weren't supposed to covet what other people had. It might have been commandment #6. So does that make jealousy okay? If God does it, it must be okay. We are striving to be god-like all the time and must, by principle, take His goodness and His not-so-goodness.

At the end of the day, I'll take God's love, patience, and compassion with a side of jealousy, anger, and judgment. Now that's a plate lunch I could surely eat.

32: I might miss God if...

I'm going to take a break on the book of Job today and focus on something that has been bothering me over the last week or so. It seems that I am pretty apathetic towards God now that I am busy with school and work. Yes, there are moments of guilt, but mostly, it feels kind of good to be so busy that God has no room in my life. It sounds harsh, but it's been pretty nice.

I still pray and I plan on going to church, but throughout the week I have so much to do and so much on my mind. I love this full speed mode. It allows me to work on "my stuff" and keeps me away from trouble. It's almost as if I wrote God out of my life. Not completely, of course, but time wise I just don't have time to think about all of the Why's and How come's? It's like a vacation.

Maybe I need to be like this all the time. Thinking about God and why He does things the way He does is tough. I love getting lost in my work, which is just for me. Granted, I am still serving God while I work, but He isn't on my mind all the time. In fact, He's just like an uncle that I only see every so often.

I love being apathetic. It's amazing. I know these words are blasphemous, and God will probably smite my life in some unexpected way, but it's kind of a nice change of pace. I love being focused on something other than Christianity and theology for a change. My mind needs a productive distraction so that I don't go crazy with endless loops of questions.

It may seem like I don't care about God, but that's not true. I love God and everything He's done for me. It's just nice to kind of hide for a while, away from God's blessings and punishments. For me, it's mostly punishment so it's kind of nice. If God, perhaps, blessed me more (ouch, I'm gonna hear about this one later and I'll probably regret saying 'more') I would probably miss him more. But because I currently associate God with judgment and not blessings, I like the leave of absence my mind is taking. It's like going on vacation to a place where no one knows you.

However, I am, in the back of my mind, worried that because I have said all of these things, or even if I just thought them, God will lash at me with all He's got. You know, make a "Job" out of me. But I think some time apart is nice. I know even though my mind is not on Him, His mind is still on me, which is nice. School is important and I have a lot on my plate for the next month. I need God's help, but sometimes it's nice to have Him out of the way. Being a Christian, I am learning, is not all about blessings and heavenly gifts. It's about restraint and controlling ourselves. It's about earthly bondage and sacrifice. Those are great things when heaven is the reward. But I'm not here to just get into heaven. I'm searching, now, for more than the reward. Christianity is boring and I don't like it in its current state for me. In a lot of ways I don't know what it's like to be a Christian. I know some Bible things and can bring in an interesting perspective, but I don't have that close relationship with God that a lot of others have. I have one based on complaining and intellect. Mostly it's just me complaining, God either ignoring me or taking things away from me, and my mind versus God. Not a lot of room for blessings and joy.

But I'm getting there. Slowly. Slowly.

31: At What Point Should God Push Us?

Chapter Nine is Job's response to Bildad, which seems a little forced. He basically says that he knows that he cannot argue with God. He acknowledges God's almighty power and understands the separation between God and himself.

However, he says some interesting things, such as he says he would argue with God if he could. I like that. I like that a lot. But, of course, he can't argue with God because God does not answer. And even if He could, God would not listen to our complaints. "Even if I summoned him and he responded, I do not believe he would give me a hearing. He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason." Nice God. So if we call your name, like the Third Day song implies, You would crush us and make our suffering worse. To me, Job has gotten to the point where he begins thinking suicidal thoughts. He constantly says that he despises his life and wishes he was dead. I guess Job isn't a champion of God after all. I guess having all that 'stuff' really helped him become a Christian. I'm not saying that I'm better than Job. Hell, if Christianity promised me riches and material things I would be more devoted than I am now. Yes, I'm selfish. But at this point, I know that everyone is selfish too.

So my question is at what point should God push us or challenge us? I've heard people say that God will never give us more than we can handle, but what about the psychological damage He can do by bringing us to the brink of despair. He allowed his best Christian soldier to experience turmoil and heartache just for some silly bet. Job now is cursing the day he was ever born. That doesn't sound very Christian to me.

In my life, I think that the Oregon experience gave me some direction, but what about the damage it caused, the side effects that will stay with me forever. Were those planned by God? In no way is depression and suicidal thoughts ever a good thing. So why would God bring us to that point? I just don't get Him and His ways. I'm all for being pushed to my limits, but to say that if something doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger is foolish. Just ask all those people who did die because they were pushed to the limit.

This mentality only needs to fail once.

30: Christians are Nice Guys. Thanks.

Chapter Eight introduces us to Job's second friend named, Bildad. However, unlike his name suggests, he is not fatherly-like at all. He claims that Job is being punished because he has sinned. Job should stop complaining and start repenting.

While I don't necessarily agree with him, I do like the way in which he says what he says. He is poetic and smooth. He says that we should look to the past, which, in modern times, could suggest looking at the Bible. By searching the Bible, we can see that we know nothing. But this is not to belittle our intellectual abilities. It only proves that we are infants in spiritual growth. Even I, the somewhat great scholar (cough), have a lot to learn.

He further states that we cannot grow without this foundation. He compares us to weeds without water. "Can papyrus grow tall where there is no marsh? Can reeds thrive without water?"

However, I believe Bildad gets it wrong when he states that God does not reject the righteous man and does not strengthen the hand of the wicked. Perhaps in the afterlife all things will be just, but on earth, this earth, I question how bad people gain material wealth and are deemed successful. By Bildad's thoughts, all Believers should be happy and all non-Believers should be weak. In the real world, however, I almost see the exact opposite. It is the Christians who are weak and the non-believers who are successful. Granted, this is only on earth and not in all eternity, but still. We, as humans, don't know the afterlife and cannot comprehend infinity. Therefore, life, to us as we can understand it, is what we see on earth, now.

I do believe that even if God does not intentionally reject the righteous man, He still can ignore him and cause him pain. Also, I believe that God can give the wicked power, such as he did in Pharoah's heart when he told Moses that his people could not go. Right there, in one of the Bible classics, is an example of how God can deem power to the wicked. Ah, but wait. It's for His purpose, right? So I guess that makes it okay?

No, it doesn't. It makes life more confusing. So as Christians are labeled as nice guys, everyone else can live based on their natural instincts and scratch and claw for whatever they can before they die. This may seem like a tortoise and the hare type of race, but sometimes it pays to be the hare. Remember, just don't stop to take a nap.

29: Let me alone, God

Chapter Seven. Boy, what a downer. Job compares the life of a Believer to that of a slave 'longing for the evening.' He is very poetic in his analogies. And I can't disagree with him. Life as a Believer has been, at least for me, a struggle. It's been misery. Granted, there have been some fun times, but mostly it's been about sacrifice, guilt, and fear. This is why I'm trying to search for a true relationship with God, a relationship not built on said things.

Job, in a way, stands up to God in this scene. He says that as a man, he has only one short life to live. Unlike God, his life is limited on this earth and he does not want it to be wasted in misery. I love this because I felt the same way in Oregon. God is good and great. I submit to those facts. Yet, I hate it that God can 'waste' my time and my life, even for only a moment because I know how precious life is. My breathe is limited to 70 years or so and for God to spend even a day of it, in my mind, on punishment bothers me. Doesn't it bother anyone else? For God, time does not exist. But humans, for life, time is the great equalizer. We all expire and I just hate it when my time is used as a lesson-teaching afterschool special.

The greatest statement in this section is "Let me alone." Job talks to God and I love it. There are times when I feel like I want God to leave me alone. I know that this becomes problematic in theological groundings, but it would be nice to take the credit for things that happen in life and also to take the blame. The later is more important to me. I can give all the praise to God when things are good. That's fine. But when things are bad, I'd rather place the blame on myself than wonder if the blame goes to God. And another thing, Can we blame God for bad things that happen? Is God blameless? Is God responsible for nothing bad, only good?

I have no idea, but for me, if God takes the glory, He must, take the blame. I don't care who you are, but you can't just take the glory and ignore the blame. It's a part of the job. There needs to be someone or something that takes the responsibility.

28: You're a good man, Charlie Job

I'm liking Job more and more. He replies to his friend with some deep philosophical-Confucius-type questions and observations. "Is tasteless food eaten without salt, or is there flavor in the white of an egg?" That's pretty deep if you ask me.

He goes on to state that he really feels God's cold shoulder, a feeling I know well. He can't figure out why, which is a nice setup for the story. If an angel appeared and told him everything, I would think that this is a great tale, but unrealistic. God does not tell me what I'm doing wrong with His voice. Yes, I know I need to learn to listen to God, but Job's situation is more realistic and I appreciate that. He is left in the dark as to why his life has become the bottom of a trash can.

I also like how he compares his friends to a stream of water. While the rain is good, words of support flow from their mouth. Yet, when times are bad, they abandon him or scorn his actions. This is telling often of how good a friend really is. It's easy to be friends with someone when things are going well. It's those friends who stick with you when times are bad that are true friends. They aren't afraid to ask what's wrong and are willing to talk about the problems at hand.

I like how Job stands up for himself, even in the company of friends. He could have bought into what Eliphaz said, that God is disciplining him for something that is unrighteous in his life. But he knows God; he has a relationship with God that is personal and true. He admits that something is not the way it used to be, but he needs time to figure it out. Yet, he has faith through all of this. You are a good man, Job. A good man.

27: A-cracked-glass-is-half-empty-kind-of-guy

Chapter Five is more ranting by Eliphaz, who comes across as a legalistic believer, at least to me. While I sometimes enjoy pointing out the Christian deficiencies in others from time to time, this guy is brutal. He tells Job to embrace the discipline God is giving him, as if Job needed to be corrected. According to the beginning of the story, Job was nearly perfect. What did he need to improve on? Of course, it's easy to talk down to others when it isn't happening to you. Isn't that right, Eliphaz?

Again, I understand that Eliphaz is just trying to make sense of all of the bad things that have happened to his friend. I would appreciate that if bad things happened to me. Ahem. But in quickly saying that it is Job's own fault that bad things are happening to him is bad theology, of which I used to buy into. I often thought that bad things happen to Christians, more specifically me, because of something that I did to upset God. Granted, God does get mad and throws bolts of thunder down upon us sometimes, but most of the time, I believe, bad things happen because that is just life. And life does not discriminate between believer and non-believer. That's why good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. It just happens. There is no direct correlation between goodness/badness and how life treats you. This, in a way, is nice. If only good things happened to you if you were a good person, no one would be nice for the sake of being nice. Good deeds would carry baggage with them, which is, of course, a bad thing.

So while I do worship a God who COULD make my life an easy drive down main street, it doesn't mean that He will do that for me. And I shouldn't expect Him to do that either. That is important in my life. No expectations. I believe, but don't expect things to happen. Yes, call me a pessimist. I'm a "glass is half empty" kind of guy, but it's only empty because there is a crack in the side. I have faith that God will take care of me. The details are for Him to worry about, not me.

A weekend in Fort Collins sure clears the mind.

26: Eliphaz the Termite

Eliphaz the Temanite, or what I thought was Termite, speaks kind words to Job. In Chapter 4, he tells Job to remember all the good things he has done in his life and that God would never punish him. Eliphaz believes that if you live a good life God will give you good things. If you live a bad life, God will give you bad things. This theology makes sense, but unfortunately isn't how things work.

For me, if this is how Christianity functioned, I would get it. You do good, you get good. You do bad, you get bad. And I'm not talking about in the afterlife. I'm talking about now. Do-gooders get stuff now. Not later, but now. My driveway would have a nice Corvette in it. I would have a house that has a driveway to put my Corvette in it. I'd be financially secure. I'd have a wonderful family. Basically, I'd win the lottery and want to have everything.

But alas, spiritual riches are only given in heaven. In the meantime, I must be content with what I have. Not an easy task when the non-Believe lifestyle looks so much more fun.

Eliphaz appears to be a good friend. He encourages and his words can be uplifting to someone who is questioning God. Then he goes on to say that he was visited by a spirit, probably an angel. In this dream/vision, the spirit asks him if man can be more righteous than God. Ouch!

Now Eliphaz is turning the blame on Job. I think that he now thinks that Job believes he is holier than God and should repent. Damn! I thought Eliphaz was a good friend. He's like one of those friends that uses any of your bad occasions to promote how holy he or she is. While that's great for them to brag, it doesn't really help you out in your walk with God. It just makes you feel bad.

So I guess, in that sense, Eliphaz is like a termite. He may seem harmless at first, but damage is done over time and he wears you away until you have no support in your self-esteem.

At least Job has two other friends, right?

25: G.I. Job, A Real Christian Hero

Yes! Stand up for yourself! Finally! Job says what I sometimes think. He is speaking like a real Christian, not those fake ones that have everything going for them. I'm proud of Job for finally getting into the tough questions. I've heard enough Bible stories where good things happen. We finally get a holy man who is pissed off at God, something we can all relate to.

So Job speaks and what comes out of his mouth is quite disturbing. Chapter 3 is a big rant about how he wishes he wasn't born and that he curses the day of his birth. That's cool. It's a little dramatic and suicidal, but mostly kind of funny. He didn't speak for seven straight days and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "May the day of my birth perish, and the night it was said, 'A boy is born!" Again, it's a little dramatic.

He talks about, in great detail, how lucky the dead are because they do not have to suffer. He admits that he has no peace, but turmoil. While Job may be talking about the physical dead, I believe he speaks of the spiritual dead.

I often find myself asking the same question: Why is light (happiness) given to those who are spiritually dead (non-Christian)? I wouldn't care about this answer except that while those individuals have light, I have darkness, nothing.

Job sums it up pretty well. "Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? For sighing comes to me instead of food; my groans pour out like water."

Buddy, we are still trying to figure out this one. Why do good things happen to non-Believers? Let me rephrase that. Why do non-Believers get BLESSED? I thought blessings were saved only for God's children. It seems like He hands out blessings like they're at random.

Again, this wouldn't be a problem for me if I, as a Believer, received a few more blessings....

...I have to catch myself when I do this. I'm trying to recognize my blessings, even if I don't ask for them. So I apologize in mid-sentence.

This illustrates that we will always compare ourselves to other people. It's human nature. I guess the thing to remember is that while we may see others as having great things that we want, we probably have a few things that others want as well. This shouldn't boost our ego, but rather give us confidence in what we have.

24: Names that roll off the tongue

The end of Chapter 2 introduces Job's three church friends. We have Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar - three names that roll off the tongue like barbed wire. When they saw their friend suffering, they sat next to him and suffered with him.

Job's three friends illustrate an imporant part of Christianity. Believers need to have a support system of friends who can provide comfort. They dirtied themselves and sat silently with Job for seven days. That's empathy in it's truest form. Often times I think that Christianity is this solitary journey. You know, it's like an odyssey because at the end of the day it's our soul and our relationship with God that counts. But over time, I'm slowly allowing others to help me and listen to what I'm going through. It's hard because it puts you in a compromising position. But I guess the thing to understand is that we all fall short of God's glory. A sad, yet comforting thing to know.

We'll later meet Job's friends, but it's good to see that their intentions were good, although their theology may have been bad. Christians mostly have good intentions as well, but we sometimes don't have our theology straight or we don't have enough tactfulness. Understanding is important when dealing with other people because without it, we become zeolots.

Fish: I bought a new fish today. It was on sale at Petco for $1. I'm also thinking about buying a couple of betta fish to keep in two of the extra tanks I have.

23: Broken pieces of pottery

Chapter 2 moves into Job's second test. God asks Satan if Job has cursed His name, and Satan replies no. However, Satan says, if God were to inflict physical damage on Job, he would surely curse his name. So Satan covers Job's body with boils. His wife tells him to give up his God walk, but Job, being righteous, says that we must accept the good with the bad.

Again, I see myself in Satan's situation. If I were to take away things from someone else and they remained faithful to God, I would probably come up with an excuse too. There are times when I feel like some pastors have it all. Now I know that being a pastor is tough. As a spiritual leader, they must feel the pressure from God and their peers. However, they must know in the back of their minds that God will take care of them. They are usually married and have 2+ children. That's not a bad lifestyle. And for some reason, most of them get married at such a young age that they don't know what it's like to have to date after college. In this sense, they are the exception, not the norm. If most people get married at 27 or 28, how can they understand the difficulty of meeting people?

What I find interesting in this section is that when Job is giving the bad case of the boils, he scrapes them off with a broken piece of pottery. Wow, anyone else sense the blatant metaphor? A broken piece of pottery scraping the 'broken piece of pottery' - Job. It is perfect. The symbolism is great.

Lastly, what is up with the wife? They are obviously not equally yoked. Maybe they were at some time, but the wife is clearly not as close to God as Job. She is telling him to curse God and he is not. The word 'integrity' that the wife refers to makes me think of pride. I believe she is asking him to let go of his pride and to curse God.

It's hard to imagine Christianity with pride, but I believe that Christians can bring pride into the church. As one of the seven deadly sins, Pride is a God killer. It makes us holier than thou. But it is interesting that the wife refers to this. For me, I like to think that pride only exists outside of the church. You know, only in the real world. But the truth is that pride goes with us everywhere, just as lust and greed latch onto our backs.

Still, I give Job a lot of credit. He could have listened to his wife and cursed God. That would have been easy. She made it seem okay. I guess she was just supporting her man. But he resisted. However, there are worst things than boils and I think Job realized that. He knew that things were going to get worse, yet he still trusted God.

I still don't believe that the story of Job happened. Nothing concrete has come through the text. I want to make it clear that I believe everything else in the Bible. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, etc. But the story of Job seems to much like a Greek play and it just doesn't make any sense. That's fine. God will have to work on my heart and my mind as I go through this book. I am open to anything He says.

22: Losing it All in a Day

So our story continues. Satan gets to play God for a day in the life of Job, while God sits back and lets it all unfold. It must have been nice to take a vacation longer than just "the seventh day."

So let's recap Job's first test. First, some enemies, the Sabeans (no relation to Alabama Football Head Coach Nick Saban), took all of Job's oxen and donkeys and killed all of the servants in the fields, except the one messenger. I guess that's where the old western movies got that from. And remember how livestock were as good as gold in the Bible days. Satan, or we can argue greed, took Job's wealth. Well played, but as for me, it's a little too superficial. Surely Satan would rest a day and get Job tomorrow.

But wait. Another messenger comes in the room and says that fire from God has destroyed all of the sheep and some servants, leaving only him alive. So now Job can't film any more Serta bed commercials and has lost some shepherds. Damn! I love those claymation sheep. But surely Satan would take it easy on the guy. It's only his first day on the job.

But no. Satan isn't done yet. Another group of raiders, the Chaldeans, come and take his camels, the transportation vehicles of the time. So basically the Chaldeans did a "Gone in 60 Seconds" on Job. Bummer. And of course, all of the car mechanics, I mean camel servants, were killed except the one messenger.

Okay, that's fine. So Job has lost a little wealth. He lost his oxen, donkeys, sheep, and camels, but those things are replaceable. They are ONLY animals anyway. It's not like Satan would take things that are irreplaceable on the first day.

Nope. Wrong again. Satan causes the house where his children are eating to fall and kill all of them. Now that is just pure evil. While the other things that happened could be replaced, Job's kids could never have been replaced. There is only one of each of us, unless you are a twin, in which case there are two. But the kids? That was pretty low.

It's interesting to note that these bad happenings are similar to the plagues that the Egyptians went through when Moses and the Pharoah had their little scuffle. Animals died. Fire came from the sky. People died. Children died. I guess God's work is consistent.

So what does Job do next? Does he file a lawsuit against God, claiming that He messed everything up? No. Job just tears his clothes off and shaves his head, still praising God in this unfortunate storm. Damn, what a saint! Could any of us do this? I get mad when I miss a traffic light on the way to school. I get mad when I can't find any parking outside of my apartment. I get mad when I am out of bread in the frig. There is no way that I could do this. No way. Especially with my children just dying.

But wait, didn't Job sacrifice an animal every day? Of course! He sacrificed offerings for all of his children so that if a day like this ever occurred, he would know that they would go to heaven. The ultimate insurance plan! Genius! So I guess Job, while torn and sad, could find some hope in this situation in that he knew his kids could go to heaven. And there is something to learn through this act of faith. He placed no blame on God. That's incredible considering that I would place the blame entirely on God. I am so NOT like Job. We are really two different people with completely different attitudes and relationships concerning God.

However, that just shows how much I have to grow. I'd like to be more like Job. Rich, powerful, and famous. Just kidding. I'd like to be closer to God, in a relationship that doesn't just jump to anger and blame. I'm sure Satan saw that his first efforts were ineffective and was pissed. Of course, he's not letting down anytime soon. He'll bring it on day two.

21: Challenging God

Yes, the story of Job begins. This first scene is epic. Someone needs to write a play about this if there isn't already one.

⁶ One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. ⁷ The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?"
Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."

⁸ Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

⁹ "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. ¹⁰ "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. ¹¹ But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."

¹² The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."
Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.

The plot is set. Satan believes that Job only fears God because He has blessed him. Fair argument. I've stated the exact same thing about others. "If he/she didn't have (fill in the blank), they would surely not be a Christian. I know that because I wouldn't." Of course, this is why the story of Job is NOT about Job, but about Satan. God, through Job, is showing Satan His power and the love that His children have for Him. So if I sometimes act like Satan, in this story at least, then I know I have a lot to learn. I don't think that's a bad thing to relate to Satan. We do it all the time. That's what makes Paradise Lost such a great story. Anyway, I digress.

I hate to admit it, but I would love to be in Satan's situation...in this story. He gets to upfront challenge God. I'm somewhat cynical. I know. I'm trying to shed the bitterness. But until then, I would be panting like a dog to get a chance like this. Satan, the master of darkness, gets to mess around with God's best soldier. Are you kidding me? It's like getting free shots at dodgeball or sham-battle. Satan must have been pretty happy that, for a moment in history, he could be God for a day. He got to control everything about Job, except his mortality.

If I had this chance, where would I begin? I would immediately take away his wife and children and wipe out any extended family. That would be pretty much it. I think I'd have Job cursing God in no time, or anyone else. To me, if you take away a man's wife and kids, he's pretty much done. We see how valuable wives were to those great men of God. Even today, behind every great man is an even greater woman. Adam had everything he could want, but he still needed Eve. So, if I get the wife, I get the man. Marriage is tricky in that sense. Satan only need to get one of you and he has both of you. It's a 2-for-1 special with couples. Enough of the wishing-I-were-Satan thinking. It's bad. I know. But you can't help but wonder what you would have done.

I suppose that praising God through tough times is one of the biggest things I don't yet understand. How do you praise God in the storms? There are tons of songs about it. "I Still Believe" by Jeremy Camp and "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns are a couple of examples. When God is good, He is really good. But when God is "bad" things just suck. I commend people who manage to praise God in those storms or valleys. That is the type of relationship I am currently seeking with God. The type of relationship that has no reward/punishment system. That true relationship with God eludes me and it is frustrating as hell. It seems like everyone else understands the math problem except me.

Another interesting thing about this story is that Satan comes to God's house. Now, I thought that God, being light and all, could not be in the presence of darkness, i.e., Satan. Yet, how do they manage to talk to each other? It is also important to note that Satan is not omnipresent; he must travel the world, meaning he can't be everywhere at once. That's reassuring, but he's got an army of demons to do his work.

We next get to Job. Poor guy. He was just minding his own business and living the sweet life. I can't wait to see what happens.

20: Job Hunt

Today is a new day and I decided to drop my Oswald Chambers devotional and start with a new attitude at the book of Job. So "Job Hunt" does not refer to searching for a means of financial income. While I don't really believe that the story occurred, I have been told otherwise that this is the place to start on my new attitude towards God. What's the new attitude? It's one that seeks God with no expectation to receive rewards. I guess we start at the beginning.

¹ In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. ² He had seven sons and three daughters, ³ and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East.

⁴ His sons used to take turns holding feasts in their homes, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. ⁵ When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would send and have them purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, "Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular custom.

So besides Job having the unfortunate name that reads as our present day word for 'job,' Job was a pretty rich guy. It is hard to discern whether he became rich because he was blameless and upright, but I'm thinking that he probably was a God-fearing man before he became insanely rich. I know that owning a bunch of animals may not seem like a big deal these days, but I've learned that owning animals in those days was huge. When God blessed Abraham financially, he gave him cattle. God was nice, but it couldn't provide milk or meat. And in those days, it was all about the 'next meal,' or 'daily bread.' The passage also indicates that Job was the greatest man in all of the East. I could believe that since he did have a lot of wealth and he was right with God. Perhaps the writer was implying both material and spiritual wealth. Hmm? Something to note.

Obviously, if you are familiar with the story of Job, it carries with it a family theme. Well, minus all the death and destruction that Job must endure. But it's important to note that Job wasn't stuck up about his wealth. That he still had time for family and that his family was close. They dined all the time, according to the scripture. How cool is that? A rich family that stays humble. Do I sense good parenting?

We also learn that Job sacrifices offerings 'for the sake of the children' - a phrase popularized by Joy Kogawa in Obasan. He does this by the off chance that his kids sinned. What a guy! He is just that holy and thoughtful. So often times I've heard of stories where parents pray for their children even though their kids may not be living a Christian lifestyle. I often wonder why. Really, what good does that do? But I guess if a rich guy with everything going in his life takes the time to pray for his kids, it must be worth something. I also like how this sacrifice is a custom for Job and not just a do-it-when-things-get-bad ritual. He really does it all the time. Granted, he has the resources to do it, but we, as believers in today's world, can make similiar sacrifices. Because of Jesus, we stopped doing that ridiculous animal sacrifice thing. Instead, Jesus died and so forgiveness and salvation can be gained with no bloodshed. I'm sure PETA is thankful for that. So we can still offer up prayer for those we care about each day in hopes that they may be forgiven for their sins. It may not do anything, but it's better than nothing. And better than nothing is sometimes good enough until God steps in.

19: Act More Like God

This is the first devotional lesson that actually makes a lot of sense. It basically talks about how we don't matter. What truly matters to God is what He can do through us. Okay. I can buy into this. A lot of life is not about us and we begin to realize that as we grow older. Christmas, for example, becomes less about what we get and more about what others get. Sadly, I sometimes feel like I'm in my infancy of Christianity and this is a time that it's mostly about me, but not always. College is a time for self-discovery and identity. We are paying thousands of dollars so that we can become respectable citizens in our society. So I think that college is mostly about trying to find out who I am, while discovering who I'm not.

But now the book says that it's not about me and about God. My question then becomes, 'Can my life ever be about me and about God at the same time?' Is it possible to do something for or through God and have the results affect or help my status as a human being in a secular world? I'm sort of thinking not. It's like that Friends episode where Phoebe tries to do one selfless act to prove to Joey that it's possible. I'm looking for that same type of selfless deed that is free from any expectation of spiritual rewards or punishments. I'm talking about a deed that is done where the reasons why we are doing it are not because we will go to hell if we don't or we will go to heaven if we do. I'm not talking about giving tithes and offerings because we hear stories about how people have gotten financial blessings after they gave. I've tried that and it doesn't work.

However, I did have a problem about what the book says about individuality. It says that God wants us all to be like Him, which means that we would ultimately be all the same. If we are all like God, then we are all like each other. If it's a matter of 'similar yet different' I'm cool with that. But why make us all different and try to fit us through a cookie cutter? If we all become like God, we will lack the differences that make Christians human beings with a right to choose. I just find it hard to comprehend every Christian acting like God, acting the same. Besides, some Christians already think they act like God. Hmm. Interesting.

18: We are not Destined to be Happy

Well, there it is. The second line of today's devotion puts it out there. "We are not destined to happiness." Not only that, but "at all costs, a person must have the right relationship with God." At all costs? Are you sure? This seems a little zealous to me. While I agree that being in the right relationship with God is important, we can't simple drop everything we have. Unfortunately, we live in a real world with real money issues and tax issues. I haven't seen anyone selling all their possessions to buy a pearl or a lot of land lately. At all costs? What does that even mean? Family? Job? House? Relationships? Friends?

Next, it talks about preaching and why it makes people feel guilty and uncomfortable. The answer: because we all fall short of the glory of God. This is God's way of setting us straight from our sinful ways. That's fine. But why with guilt? It only makes those who are non-Christians feel even worse and they end up never wanting to come back.

And lastly, it says, "Never tolerate, because of sympathy for yourself or for others, any practice that is not in keeping with a holy God." I completely disagree with this statement because it makes Christians go on the offensive, as if it is our duty to change the ways of others. What about things like compassion and understanding? Do those go out the window and we just come in with our swords and start chopping people down? That's one of the problems with Christianity today. Too many people do not show enough compassion towards others. When abortion is mentioned, Christians start flying arrows. When evolution is said, Christians bring in the heavy bombers. When homosexuality is mentioned, we drop atomic bombs. That doesn't sound like Jesus. At least Jesus took the time to talk to people before getting to the healing part. Granted, even if Jesus didn't say anything to them, he's the Son of God so he already knew.

Today's devotion was not a good one. It says that we are not to supposed to be happy, we are supposed to feel guilty when listening to sermons, and we are to not tolerate others. Where is the joy in that?