16: Doing Good is No Ticket to Heaven

This issue of service came up last night at Christ Community. Along the same lines, my devotion says that we shouldn't evaluate our stock based on our service to others. God is not concerned what we do. All He wants is for us to love Him and let Him use us.

I'm confused. I thought God wanted us to do good things. Help the poor and those less fortunate. Ah, but we can't let that go to our heads. I see. Wow, well that's easy for a God to say, but not a human. In a world that is built around this instinctual need for acknowledgment, the task seems impossible. It's like leaving a child in a room and telling him that he can play with any toy he wants, except the electrical outlet. Sooner or later, the kids going to poke something in the wall. I believe that has happened in the history of Man. Garden of Eden ring a bell?

So if good deeds don't add anything to your heavenly stock, why do them at all? It seems that the more good you do, the harder it is to not think that those acts of generosity and kindness aren't going to pay off someday. You're digging yourself into a deeper hole of self-centeredness, my favorite part of Christianity.

So my question then becomes, 'How do you balance doing enough to show that you are a Christian, and not doing too much so that you buy into this community service for God mentality?' Ironically, there seems to be no answer, at least for me. It's one of those learn-as-you-go-along things. Yes, another struggle to add in an already struggle-filled life.

I do a lot of personal service and I admit that there are parts of me that thinks, 'God is watching me give my time. Damn! He has a blessing right around the corner.' Granted, I don't feel this way most of the time. I enjoy giving back to Greeley and it's a good way for me to forget about my own problems. However, there are days when I seek God's approval, like any good child would do. Funny though. When I started volunteering, that's when the blessings stopped. Hmm. I wonder if they are related. That must be it. The more I volunteer, the less blessings God gives me. It makes as much sense as any theory I've got already. More volunteer work equals less blessings. I get it. Because if God blessed me too much, I might actually get a happy life, too busy and too happy without Him. It's starting to make sense. So the less happy I am, the more service projects I do. Genius. Genius. Genius.